The Country Bumpkin Tale
by A big admirer of time
Summary: What happens in Lempy, stays in Lempy. Mostly because no one ever visits nor leaves the place. (AU)


_Laulujoutsen, latinankieliseltä nimeltään_ Cygnus cygnus _, on pohjoisessa Euraasiassa pesivä sorsalintu. Se on kooltaan suuri ja eroaa lähisukulaisestaan kyhmyjoutsenesta (_ Cygnus olor _) nokkansa suoraviivaisemmalla muodolla ja sen kellertävällä värillä. Laulujoutsenella on myös lyhyempi pyrstö kuin kyhmyjoutsenella, ja se pitää uidessaan kaulansa pystyasennossa. Nimensä valkolintu on saanut helposti tunnistettavasta laulustaan, joka muistuttaa vaskipuhaltimen ääntä tai – kansantermein – "syvää töötötystä". Laulujoutsen on pariuskollinen ja valitsee elämänkumppaninsa tyypillisesti vain kerran elämänsä aikana._

* * *

A cloud of dust followed a small olive green moped as the vehicle sped along a narrow gravel road, a dark russet tail flapping in the wind dangerously close to the rear wheel. Surrounded by seemingly never-ending fields and a sky hidden behind a canvas of gray, the red fox muttered curses under the sound of minuscule rocks hitting the insides of the two fenders.

Lempy wasn't a place for those seeking wealth, success or a happy life. Examples of such values could be found a good hundred miles to the southwest in the grand city of Zootopia, but had long ago abandoned even the wildest fantasies of this particular hamlet's residents.

In Lempy there was no pot of gold waiting at the end of a rainbow, but a food truck guarded by a line of drunks. It was a place drenched in the scent of pine, rain, and gasoline. It was a diverse place where mammals of many sorts laughed at their own misfortune and avoided making eye contact with their neighbors. It was a cluster of rickety, old houses, unlucrative fields and thick forests on the shore of a glistening, blue lake.

But most of all, it was a place no one gave a rat's ass about; perhaps the only quality which could have lured the red fox so far from home.

It was the perfect hideout.

"You know what would be a great idea?" Nick uttered to himself over the fizzing of the poorly-maintained vehicle, letting go of the handlebar with his other paw to readjust his helmet which had slumped forward to block his vision. "Let's never maintain the only road this despicable excuse of a town has to offer so that there's even more of a reason for every mammal in existence to avoid this abysmal place!"

Unable to avoid the following pothole fast enough, the fox let out a partly surprised, partly annoyed "oof" as he slumped forward, quickly lifting his body back up in a barely successful attempt to regain balance. Deciding it was probably better not to lose his life in the one location he was supposed to be safe in, he eased on the gas. After all, it was only three more miles to the marketplace and he wasn't exactly in a rush.

That fact did very little to lessen his frustration, however.

At first Nick had found joy in leaving the stressful hustle and bustle of his everyday life behind. Not having to think about how he should scam other mammals out of their money had been a nice change of pace for the fox. It had also given him a chance to explore the world around the big city, to really appreciate his surroundings and escape the artificial climate of the four major districts.

He had to admit that there was something exhilarating and exciting in the sight of untouched nature and varying weather conditions. Even the lake managed to rouse positive thoughts somewhere deep inside his mind, in spite of him not being the biggest fan of vast amounts of water one could easily drown in. The environment wasn't the problem that made him want to tear out his fur and run far away – he actually found it surprisingly soothing for a city dweller like himself. No, the big letdown had come in the form of the social construct of the place.

Or to be more precise, a lack thereof.

With a population of just a few thousand, Lempy had left the fox very unsatisfied when it came to interacting with other mammals. He'd depended on his silver tongue for as long as he could remember and not getting to utilize his verbal skills had proven both very distracting and annoying to the vulpine. This, in turn, had led to unhealthy amounts of self-directed blabbering.

"They better sell meat at that market", the russet and cream-colored canid grumbled.

His eyes focused on a small vehicle parked on the other side of the road in the distance. He soon noticed that the car had its hazard lights flashing and sported a familiar white and black coloring as well as a blue and red lightbar on its roof. Just as he thought the situation couldn't have gotten any better, a pair of long ears popped up from behind the dashboard.

Oh, was he going to enjoy this.

The rabbit behind the wheel ( _a_ bunny _officer?_ ) lifted her head to look at his approaching form, her sullen and excruciated expression turning into one of rejoice and hope. Seeing her quite literally hop out of the car and frantically start waving at him, he slowed down before coming to a stop on his side of the road next to the injured police vehicle.

He hadn't so much as shut the engine when the bunny, wearing a standard teal uniform a size or five too big for her, already bounced next to the moped with little caution for grace.

"Thank you so much for stopping, sir!" the gray and white furred rabbit exclaimed, offering him a paw. "My name is Judy Hopps. It's nice to meet you."

Nick eyed the appendage with his brow raised in surprise and suspicion. Even in the city it wasn't everyday that he came across prey, bunnies specifically, who showed no hesitation in approaching him.

The corners of his lips raising into a small but noticeable grin, the vulpine accepted the greeting and shook her paw. "The pleasure is all mine, officer Hopps. I-"

"Actually, it's just Hopps," she interjected, turning away from him and briskly stepping to her vehicle. She motioned him to follow. "At least it will be before the Mammal Inclusion Initiative is introduced. Sheriff Morin was nice enough to offer me a practical training program until I can sign up for the academy."

Nick, strolling only a little behind, listened carefully while studying her character. His gaze traveled from her exposed, large feet up her fabric-covered, though seemingly toned legs, over the puny, gray and white puff of a tail before finally reaching the black tips of her raised ears. She was not threatening in the slightest, quite the opposite actually, but he knew better than to let his guard down.

"Well, Just Hopps," he said with a grin and half-lidded eyes which flicked away from the lagomorph to examine the car. The front of the vehicle was tilted to the other side in a rather abnormal angle, but otherwise there was no damage to be seen. "I assume there's a reason you asked me to pull over?"

She circled around the back of the old cruiser and turned to regard him with a meek smile. "Do I really have to point it out?" she quipped with a hint of embarrassment in her voice, stopping in front of the flat front tire with her arms folded.

Nick came to stand next to her. "I see", he replied, one claw lazily scratching the side of his snout. "So what's the big deal here? I thought you carrot farmers could change a simple tire by yourselves."

The retort was instant. "I'm not a carrot farmer."

"Would I be wrong in assuming most of your family are?"

"Yes," she huffed, her ears raised in defiance, "some of them grow other things."

An amused snort escaped the fox. "That's great, Carrots."

"Don't call me that!"

"Alright, _Fluff_ ," he responded nonchalantly, continuing. "Why haven't you changed the tire yourself?"

She pouted, but didn't protest the mockery. "There's no spare in the back," she answered in a low and quiet monotone.

He hummed, certain that she could practically hear his face-splitting grin in his tone. "Yup, that would do it."

Her eyes averted his while her foot thumped in a rapid but steady rhythm.

"I tried radioing the office but no one picked up. And I left my phone at the office in the morning."

Nick turned to face her, confused to no end. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't want to get distracted while I was on patrol," she answered matter-of-factly.

"But you're not-" he began before abruptly cutting himself off. Red alarms were going off inside his head.

This rabbit must've been insane.

"Okay, let me get this straight. You, a bunny intern-"

"I'm not an in-"

"Hush, Fluff. Just let me make sure we're on the same page here, alright? You, a _bunny_ intern, have been allowed to leave the sheriff's office unsupervised, dressed as an officer, in a police vehicle and no one cares enough about you to even answer when you try to contact them?" the fox finished, staring at her with his arms splayed. "I gotta say, that's one heck of a practical training program for someone who not only hasn't received any academy training, but also can't become a cop in the first place, don't you agree?"

The doe looked annoyed and defeated, her eyes having fallen to inspect the gravel under her feet. She made no sound.

"Right."

They stood in silence for another moment. Waves traveled through the grain fields around them, the ocean of yellow dancing in unison with the occasional breeze. A butterfly fluttered in front of them.

Nick, just about to make his exit, only managed to shift his weight from one leg to another when the smaller of the two spoke up again.

"Look, can I just borrow your phone and call for help so that we can both get going?"

Once more, he raised his brow, grinning down at her. "Oh, I'll do you one better. You know, it's got to be true what mammals say about those feet of yours 'cause it's not everyday you come across someone who knows how to patch up a tire."

This had the rabbit's ears up in a flash, her face conveying both hope and desperation.

"You can fix it?"

Turning around and leaving the rabbit's side to stride to his own vehicle, he replied. "As long as the leak's not too big. Don't move an inch, I just need to get a few things from the trunk before I can get started."

Her disbelieving gaze having followed his character, she whipped her head back to blankly stare at the black and white squad car. Troubled thoughts regarding her inability to defend her position against the strange and annoying vulpine plagued her mind. Never had she been talked into a corner so quickly in her life, though, now that she thought about it, the actions of her superior might've been a little sketchy.

It wasn't until the sound of a clearly disrepaired engine coming to life that she realized what was about to happen.

"No, no, no! Stop!" she yelled in despair, darting after the vehicle and flailing her paws in the air frantically. Her efforts were unsurprisingly to no avail as the moped only sped up with each shout, bouncing down the gravel road like a frog on a pogo stick.

A minute later her rescuer could be seen in the horizon as nothing more than a tiny, tiny dot.

Out of breath, Judy eventually stopped and stomped the ground in frustration, muttering in between gasps, "Dumb fox."


End file.
